Today was my last day at work. :(

That was the card I sent to Meghan, who will be taking over some of my job.

That’s just fun. The most outrageous thing I did today was spend about 6 hours in restaurants with various combinations of people I work with and my parents.  We hit four different places. It was a good day.

I officially have nothing funny to add today.  I’m in the middle of my mid-afternoon lethargic phase, so  I’m going to finish my diet coke, maybe find some gelato or something else sugary, and focus for a little while longer.

Um.. almost true story.  If wizards wore sweatpants, it would be right on.

Also: “Today, I dropped my keys. Not wanting to lean over and pick them up, I pointed at them and said “Accio.” Then I realized I had tried to use a Harry Potter spell in real life and in public. FML”

I can’t really bug Meghan about not updating her blog considering I never update mine, so I figured if I start posting here again, I can go back to bothering her!

Every day at work, I send Meghan an ecard from someecards, and every day, she prints it out and hangs it on the wall!  We decided that it would be a good idea for me to send my blog an ecard every day too, to get me back in the habit of updating.

So happy Bastille Day!  I know I plan on enjoying the bottle of wine it took me 15 minutes to open last night because my corkscrew is broken (another reason to go for the screwcap), and I hope you enjoy your day too!

Why can’t they have different voices on Family Guy? I understand that an animated show can get away with only using a few actors, but can’t they at least modify their voices based on the characters? It gets really annoying when every character sounds the same.

“Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I’m expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside.” – Stewie Griffin

So I thought it was time I start using my blog again, but I don’t have the attention span to actually write blog posts longer than a paragraph or two. I’ve been Twittering a lot, but sometimes 140 characters just isn’t enough.

My newest idea is milliblogging: microblogging, but bigger. Instead of 140 characters, I’ll post things that are under 140 words. I even had a great topic for my first post (Dunkaroos.) I put together my first post, hit send, then looked at the refreshed word count.

142.

FML.

Things that are awkward: When something to be dipped comes prepackaged with a certain amount of dip, and you need to eyeball the correct ratio from the beginning, or you’ll spend the whole time correcting.

I’m currently watching some Family Guy reruns and eating Dunkaroos to keep up my alter-ego as a 12 year old boy, and I am perplexed by this problem. It’s hard to visualize the correct amount of frosting to add to each cookie at first. I usually go conservative, but when I’m down to the last few cookies, I see that I have a lot of frosting left and I start using more and more. By the last cookie, I’m reaching down into the little frosting cup and completely overwhelming the cookie. I guess I’ll have to keep eating Dunkaroos until I get it right. My life is so hard.

A few things that I’ve been thinking about lately (that are longer than 140 characters…)

1. Just saw a commercial for the lottery in which the woman buying the lottery ticket said she didn’t expect to win. If you’re buying a lottery ticket, you expect to win. That’s why you’re buying the ticket. Maybe you know the odds are against you, but you have enough hope that you will win. I realize this was just a commercial plot device, but it bothered me enough to bitch about it here.

2. How did they come up with the flavor combinations in the popsicle box? I understand the cherry/orange/grape combo, but can someone explain root beer/banana/lemon-lime. The only thing I can think of involves a bored group of flavorists, a giant bong and a lava lamp.

3. Cap’n Crunch will get soggy if you leave it sitting in the bowl with milk for over an hour. I know they claim that it never gets gross, but it does. It also does not taste as good if you run out of milk and need to use orange juice. Normally in this situation I try to use something a little more similar to milk, but the only other option was Baileys and considering this occured at 7:30AM and I had to go to work… bad idea?

4. Bravo is an interesting channel. Their programming ranges from reruns of the best show ever (West Wing) to things like Inside the Actors Studio, Top Chef and Showbiz Moms and Dads. The worst part is that I can’t decide which makes me happier: West Wing or Workout.

5. Random: Both Liz Lemon and Ross Gellar live in apartment 3B. Knowing things like this proves that I watch too much tv. Ok, maybe this one would have fit on Twitter.

6. http://www.fmylife.com/ is the new pink. “Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML”

7.

1. I have a paralyzing fear of heights, but I don’t let it stop me from doing things like parasailing and climbing on rooftops. I usually just yell a lot and curse at the person who convinced me it was a good idea.

2. I attempt the New York Times and Los Angeles Times crossword puzzles daily. I can usually finish off MT and most of W, but it gets ugly starting on Thursday. Let’s not even talk about Saturday.

3. I studied the link between dreams and memory for a year in high school, before giving it up to devote two summers to gas chromatography.

4. When I was four years old I read the dictionary cover to cover so I would know what all the words meant.

5. I am allergic to overeating; when I eat too much, I sneeze. It took about three years to diagnose that. For a while I just thought I was allergic to everything.

6. I haven’t counted lately, but I think I have more math trophies than sports trophies.

7. I played the clarinet very badly for four years before they let us choose between band and art.

8. I got my highest prelim score in college in organic chemistry. Most people don’t believe this one, but I still have the test as proof.

9. I can touch my nose with my tongue.

10. I’ve touched the hands of two members of NSync. Three to go.

11. I used to tape MTV on the days I would go to Times Square for TRL. Just in case.

12. I spent my nineteenth birthday sitting next to Jason Bateman at a comedy club. I did not accidentally call him Michael Bluth, though I was very nervous that I just might blurt it out.

13. Ever since I went on my first rollercoaster at age three, I’ve been hooked. I try to convince as many people as I can to come with me, and I’ve managed to convert a few scared friends.

14. I am a big Eeyore fan. I just feel bad for the poor guy.

15. I had a cardboard box spaceship as a kid.

16. My favorite SNL comedians of all time are Gilda Radner and Phil Hartman. Currently, I’m a huge Kristen Wiig fan. (Just kidding. But really.)

17. I have “gone in” the ocean during all four of my college spring breaks. The furthest south this ever took place was New Jersey. The northern Atlantic can be cold in March.

18. The longest I have ever gone without sleep/napping is 37.5 hours.

19. Once I ate 33 pixie sticks on a dare. I was hyper for about a week.

20. The largest number of warheads I have consumed at once stands at 11. I would like to try to break this record, but I don’t see it ending well.

21. My true talent is playing skeeball. If there was a professional circuit for arcade games, I would be on it.

22. My freshman year dinners consisted of three chicken nuggets dipped in guacamole, cucumbers and ranch dressing, cereal, and a cookie. Every night.

23. I keep a towel in my car at all times, just like Ford Prefect suggested. You never know if the Earth is going to be blown up and you will need to hitchhike through space.

24. Diet coke is necessary. Diet Pepsi, regular Coke and Coke Zero are not substitutes. I know the difference.

25. I’ve seen every episode of Friends at least five times, and there are a few I’ve seen at least 25 times. I can usually tell which episode I’m watching by looking at the set dressing, character’s clothing or by listening to one line.