Anyone who knows me well knows that my cooking style is a little, well, unconventional. In fact, I use the same recipe for almost everything I make. It only requires two ingredients: beer (allowed substitues include wine or tequila) and a phone (allowed substitues include a computer with an internet connection.)

How to Make ________

1. Call (or go online) and order ________ to be delivered*.
2. Sit down and open beer or wine, or make a margarita. Wait for the food to be delivered.

It’s that easy!

* Some people say that not all types of food can be delivered. Question: if it can’t be delivered, do I want to be eating it? Answer: no.

I was going to ramble about what I actually can cook here, but again, it just seems like too much effort.

So instead, your moment of zen…