Well, we like our internet slow, ok. We can turn it on, walk around, do a little dance, make a sandwich. With DSL there’s no dancing, no walking and we’d starve. It’d be all work and no play. Have you not seen The Shining, Mom? – Lorelai Gilmore

I feel like I’m living in 1997. The apartment in which I’m living this summer does not have internet yet, and I am doing the whole wireless stealing thing. I currently steal internet from either the laundromat I live above, the pizza place I live next door to, or the guy a few houses down with an unprotected network. None of these connections works particularly well, which is why I switch between them multiple times just to download my e-mail. It’s a lot of effort for offers of penis enhancement and useless messages from mailing lists I’ve been to lazy to unsubscribe to, but there is the occasional important message that makes it worth it.

I have a desk in my bedroom. I had intentions of sitting at it and using my computer, but right now it serves as a storage area for receipts and dvds. I tried using it a few times, but I gave up after my computer angrily informed me that there was no wireless connection. I have been resigned to laying on my bed, my feet at the head, because the foot of the bed is the only place I can pick up the connection.

It takes a lot of effort to get online, and when I finally do, the connection crawls along so slowly I think it’s going backwards. Forget about streaming video, I can’t even load Facebook! This lack of internet has caused me to get out and see the world offline. I’ve been averaging 22 dvds per month from Netflix, finally getting a chance to watch some things I never got around to seeing. I’m reading books for the first time since high school. It’s not all bad.

They’re coming to install internet here next week, but until then, I’ll be the girl carrying the laptop around the room as I attempt to sign on to AIM.